Personal Qualities of Effective Helper

Personal Qualities of Effective Helpers

Nystul' s Helping Formula:

Personality of helper + Helping skills = Growth facilitating conditions > Specific outcomes

Nystul's 14 characteristics and how I see myself (p.10-12)

1.Encouraging. Nystul sees this as perhaps the most important quality of an effective counselor. Necessary to help clients learn to believe in their potential for growth and development. I like to think I'm an encouraging person
2.Artistic – able to creatively adjust techniques to needs of clients. “Just as true artists give something of themselves to each thing they create, counselors must give of themselves to the counseling process.” Counseling as an art and a science is Nystul's approach. Giving of self is something I haven't considered, though I recognize that the counselor contributes to the counseling process. At first it seems to be a contradiction to “It's all about the client, not about the counselor.”
3.Emotionally stable – “An inconsistent counselor will not only waste valuable time but create confusion and insecurity withing the client.” Is anyone ever emotionally stable? With maturity comes stability, but I feel stability isn't ever fully achieved. There's a warning about emotionally insecure counselors attempting to meet their needs at the expense of their clients – an important caveat, but I also have to acknowledge a need as well as a desire to help others.
4.Empathetic and caring: “Effective counselors care about people and have the desire to help those in need. They are sensitive to the emotional states of others and can communicate an understanding of their struggles with life. Clients experience a sense of support and kindness...This can help the client have the courage to face life realistically and explore new directions and possibilities. “ I can't say this any better – I see this as the most important quality in counseling.
5.Self-aware: " aware of one's own limitations .. can also help counselors monitor their needs so they can gratify those needs in a way that does not interfere in the counseling process.. requires an ongoing effort." Again this comes with maturity, but is something that is never fully realized. Self awareness is related to:
6.Self-acceptance: comfortable with themselves. I enjoy being Lucille Boone, though it's taken awhile to acknowledge this.
7. Positive self-esteem: can help counselors cope with and maintain stability. I have learned the hard way to be gentle with myself.
8.Self-realization-- “a journey into personal growth and discovery-- model for clients that one must stretch to grow. Counselors welcome life experiences and learn from them.” It's taken me a long time to see myself in that statement.
9.Self-disclosure: “counselors are constructively open with their thoughts and feelings – model openness and encourage clients to be open. “ Something I need to learn to do effectively. I usually err on the side of less is better.
10.Courageous: counselors should try to model the courage to be imperfect. Admitting that we don't have the answers and that counseling is a two way process is a beginning
11.Patient: Very important to focus on direction, not immediate results, though this could be difficult with brief therapy.
12.Nonjudgmental: Must be careful not to impose beliefs – communicate respect for clients. Some judgment is inevitable, but “judge that ye be not judged”
13.Tolerance for ambiguity: important – goes with being nonjudgmental.
14.Spirituality: I see counseling as a spiritual process – something that I do not do by myself as much as facilitate and channel from a higher power.