Ups and downs

I'm on a cycle that I need to break. When I'm at class on Monday, I feel that's where I should be and find the topics interesting, though basic (which is what an introductory class should be). This high continues for a few days. Towards the end of the week I feel that things are not working out -- especially with the research project, that I should be working at a higher level, that I won't make it -- of course I try to work harder, but inevitably harder is not smarter. To give myself credit, I've been able to accomplish things slowly, though not at the rate and level I expected. I now have a draft of a paper and in the next few days I'll be working on the introduction, discussion and abstract.
What's going on? I've asked myself this question again and again. Is there some childhood event that has kept me stuck at this stage? I don't feel this way about crochet -- but then crochet has never been the way I might earn my living or help people (other than providing nice gifts.)
Associated with this is a wish for recognition -- in times like this that I need to know that I have friends even if only "in the cloud" (online) -- and so I ask for prayer, and wonder if this shows that my faith is small..
Who or what am I serving by continuing this behavior? Let me be open to finding out. Trudi, one of my friends said that this might be a gift to myself.