I believe an effective counselor is a good listener. My experience, so far, has been with listening and brief counseling sessions. Here are some hindrances I've found:.
- Fear of saying or doing the wrong thing. Associated with this is the need to feel that I'm doing things right. Counseling is an art and a science. Guidelines and procedures are important tools, that every counseling situation is individual and unique.
- The need to be needed and accomplish something worthwhile in the counseling session. I call this the “big people helper desire”. This usually indicates that I'm focused on myself and my own needs and not the client's.
- Breaking into the conversation when I think I have some insight that needs to be shared. I may think I know what the client's problem is, but if that thought comes, I recognizet I'm not focusing on the client. If I think I have the solution to the issue and I'm the only one who can provide this, then I'm enmeshed and have forgotten I'm only one part in the process and solution.
- Wanting to get more information on the client's issue, to see all aspects. I've thought of this as having only a piece of the puzzle and wanting to get the whole picture. This desire can get in the way of listening fully to the client and being sensitive to his or her needs. It's okay to ask questions for qualification, but if I'm asking a lot of questions in a counseling session, I'm on the wrong track.
In the end, these concerns come down to “it's not about me” -- it's the client.
No comments:
Post a Comment